


The crow went traveling abroad and came back just as black

by WhiteRose (transatlantic_fanfic)



Category: Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:48:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27527149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transatlantic_fanfic/pseuds/WhiteRose
Summary: Set after From Harlem to Haarlem by zemenipearls (ayaanle). Short AU fanfic. Jesper is in Law School at NYU, trying to pay rent and staying on top of his classes, when his life is turned upside down by backpacking acquaintances crashing on his couch.Fun Fact about Backpacking. It’s seldom the people you really want to meet again who actually show up on your doorstep.
Relationships: Kaz Brekker/Inej Ghafa, Kaz Brekker/Jesper Fahey
Comments: 6
Kudos: 27





	1. Greet the Unexpected Visitor

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [From Harlem to Haarlem](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19131562) by [zemenipearls (ayaanle)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ayaanle/pseuds/zemenipearls). 



Jesper Fahey unlocked the door to his apartment. During his first year at NYU he had gone through a series of semi-problematic roommates. In the end, Jesper came to the conclusion that he wasn’t about to give up flirting or getting any smarter about it, so for his second year of Law School he was renting a place of his own. It was a small one-bedroom in a brick-apartment building on the corner of 42nd and 11th. Added bonus was that if you weren’t squeamish about heights you could find your way up to the rooftop, and look at the lights of the city that took all of your money andnever let you sleep.

Financially this was only somewhat viable, but if he picked up extra bartending work on the weekend in addition to his shifts at the coffeeshop, he was doing fine. So far, the credit cards were still working and he figured it would all be okay in the end. Also, compared to his student loans the credit card debt was kind of cute.

As long as he didn’t think about money for too long, Jesper was feeling great. It was the start of the fall semester, and with it came the charm of new beginnings and fresh starts. It’s what he loved about traveling. He still treasured the memories of his backpacking summer in Europe last year. This past summer he had stayed in the city working for a moving company for money and as an unpaid intern at a law firm for his resume. Both jobs had been so tedious and boring that the start of classes came as a relief. When he had found the apartment, it seemed that all the stars had aligned and luck was firmly on the side of Jesper Fahey.

He held on to this happy thought as he dropped his latte macchiato triple shot with almond milk and watched the creamy liquid splash all over the floor.

Fun Fact about Backpacking. It’s seldom the people you really want to meet again who actually show up on your doorstep. However, coming home to finding the person whomugged you at a shady club in Amsterdam sitting on your couch was a little much, even for Jesper, who prized himself for his nonchalant flamboyance.

‘I let myself in, I hope you don’t mind’, Kaz said in a raspy voice.

Jesper stared at the figure on his couch. There was no mistake, it was Kaz, the dutch crook. The elegant cane was next to his outstretched leg. He was wearing black jeans and a long sleeve grey shirt, his hair was messy, and from the circles under his eyes he hadn’t slept in a while. Even though he was dressed like a normal person his demeanor was every bit as arrogant as Jesper remembered from the club.

‘You broke into my apartment’, Jesper sputtered. ‘I’ll call the cops’.

Kaz smiled serenely: ’I wouldn’t do that if I were you. They might find the drugs. Not prudent to deal if you’re in law school, if you ask me’.

Jesper gaped at him. ‘You fucking bastard!’

Jesper thought about how this call to law enforcement would go. There was no obvious sign of a break in. A glance at Kaz’ hand confirmed what he had suspected. The little shit was wearing gloves. He would have to explain that he actually knew the guy, and of course he had never bothered to report the robbery in Amsterdam. Had Kaz actually hidden drugs somewhere in his apartment? Would he be able to find them first? Jesper started pacing the room, which suddenly felt way too small.

Kaz watched with amusement. ‘Look I just need a place to lay low for a bit.’

‘Why? And more importantly, why here?’

‘There was some trouble with the club. I have never been to New York, and I liked you.’

‘You mugged me’.

‘Inej likes you, too’.

That’s how he got my address, Jesper realized. He got out his phone and texted his friend, not even wondering about the time difference. Three dots appeared, disappeared, reappeared, disappeared. No response. ‘WTF’, Jesper texted and threw down his phone in frustration.

Kaz looked up at him. ‘It’ll be fine. I’ll sleep on the couch and I won’t bother you’.

Jesper knew he would regret the words as he spoke them: ‘Just a couple of nights’.

Kaz beamed. ‘Absolutely’, he promised. 

‘So he actually can smile’, Jesper thought. And kicked himself for noticing.


	2. Listen to what she has to tell us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It wasn’t a couple of nights, and it wasn’t fine. Unless Jesper was lost in translation and fine meant something completely different in Dutch.

It wasn’t a couple of nights, and it wasn’t fine. Unless Jesper was lost in translation and fine meant something completely different in Dutch. Like sight-seeing apparently meant picking tourists’ wallets. Or going to a club meant doing drug deals. Taking Kaz to campus had very clearly been a mistake. 'People should really lock their offices', he had commented with a smirk, as he was counting money and discarding wallets at Jesper's coffee table. The next day Jesper had learned about the missing IT equipment. 

When Inej had finally responded to Jesper's frantic messages, she had asked him to do her a solid, and keep Kaz out of trouble for a few weeks.  
‘I am a law student. I cannot live with a criminal’, Jesper had explained the obvious problem with this idea.  
‘I am worried. He got himself in more trouble than usual’, Inej had replied, but not offered any details.

Kaz had been extremely tightlipped about what had happened back in Amsterdam. A bit of online research had revealed that the Kraai had burned down. The local authorities suspected arson, and an incendiary device had been found on scene. Also, there had been a body count, an employee named Annika. When Jesper had tried to talk to Kaz about it, his guest had truly frightened him for the first time, his face contorted into a sudden mask of hatred.

With a lot on his mind that had always been all too susceptible to distractions, Jesper’s classes weren’t going so great lately. Presently, he was on his laptop trying to submit his assignment through Brightspace. ‘From my end this looks more like a dark hole’, he thought, cursing under his breath. Just as he was about to be done, Kaz walked over and closed his laptop. ‘Did you know she was coming?’, he asked, accusation in his tone. 

It took Jesper a minute to figure out who ‘she’ was.  
‘Inej is in town? What flight is she on?’  
It turned out she was already on the airtrain. They met her at Howard Beach Station, and caught the F line back to Manhattan. Inej chatted the whole journey about her latest film project, the jerk from the next seat on her flight over, and, as Jesper suspected for the pure pleasure of torturing Kaz, her latest love interests. 

Inej was not tired. After a quick shower, Jesper had them all out on a tour of his favorite neighborhood joints. It turned into a late night, with a remarkably social Kaz, who, for once, wasn’t scheming or hustling, at least as far as Jesper could tell. Inej was introduced to the delights of New York pizza slices after midnight. They spent the small hours of the morning up on the roof drinking champagne feeling like kings and queens. Back in the apartment, Inej rolled out an air pad and a sleeping bag. ‘Unless I can stay in the bedroom’, she asked Jesper with a bright smile. He took one look at his couch surfer and decided he didn’t want to get murdered by Kaz in his own apartment, so he politely declined.

Over coffee the next morning Jesper surveyed his hungover backpacking friends who had come all the way from Europe to ruin his grades. ‘Why are you two not together anymore?’, he inquired. It wasn’t a fair question to ask, but they had invaded his life, so he gave himself a free pass for intruding on their personal history.  
Kaz snorted: ‘Ask her. Some bull about the arrow missing my heart because the aim was off’.  
Inej rolled her eyes. ’Geez Louise, gadji. It never ceases to amaze me with how much respect you treat my cultural heritage’.  
Kaz didn’t miss a beat: ‘It never ceases to amaze me how you can overlook your many moral qualms when you need money for a film project’.  
‘I see now’, Jesper grinned, but the mood around the table had suddenly turned tense.  
Inej splayed her hands on the table, and spoke with barely measured anger in her voice. ‘Are you blaming me for what happened at the Kraai?’  
Kaz shook his head. ‘No. I blame the person who is to blame for what happened at the Kraai’.  
Inej cocked her head: ‘Yourself?’ She turned to Jesper: ‘He messed with this guy called Pekka. He pissed in his soup, literally and figuratively. Turned out he was more connected than our Kaz here had anticipated. So now Kaz has an arrest warrant, Annika is toast, and the Kraai is ashes. And before it all went south, I made my latest film with the money he and Annika swindled out of Pekka’.  
Jesper felt sick. Not knowing where to look, he stared into his coffee cup, as if it he could read his murky future in it.  
Kaz sounded wary: ’Why are you here, Inej?’  
‘I want to make sure that you stand down. I don’t want to turn into another Annika’. After a pause, she added ‘I’d prefer if you came out okay as well. Don’t scheme up new jobs, lay low, don’t seek revenge. Accept that you are outmatched’.  
Kaz straightened: ‘I’ll get back at Pekka. But I’ll bide my time, you don’t have to worry.’ He suddenly smiled: ‘Look, I even have a personal walk-around lawyer now. Still in training though’. With a deadpan face he turned to Jesper: 'Don't you have some studying to do?'  
Jesper let his head drop on the table.


	3. Meet Fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inej makes films. She observes, and she directs. In this chapter, she sets in motion two chains of events, only one of them intentional.

She ended up staying for close to two weeks, sleeping on the floor of the tiny apartment. Inej was an art student, film maker and traveler. She didn’t mind cramped quarters, and could easily reduce her personal space to a mattress on a floor and a backpack in the corner. She suspected that Kaz could make do with a lot less. What puzzled Inej was that Jesper put up with the two of them, but she was glad he did. Inej adored Jesper. He was funny, charming, easy-going, open. He was, in short, the antithesis of Kaz. However, after ten days had passed, Inej felt it prudent to not overstay her welcome. She started making plans and looking at Amtrak schedules.

In truth, she wasn’t worried about Jesper. She needed to get away from Kaz. Especially this new version of him, that made her feel ridiculously hopeful. From experience she knew it wouldn’t end well for either one of them. She couldn’t help but wonder though. Kaz was enamored with New York, and he seemed, well, happy? She had never been able to picture him outside Amsterdam, away from his beloved club and the canals with boatloads full of easily duped tourists. Now though, he looked like he belonged. It was as if the city was a manifestation of his self. It was a sight to see, and Inej marveled at it like a piece of art.

When you are making movies you have to decide what the story is truly about, its core or its soul, if you will. The more Inej watched Kaz, the more she contemplated if it was the city that grounded him, or something else. How would she direct this story, if it was one of her films? She decided to talk to the boy.

~~~~~~

Inej met Jesper on campus after his classes were out for the day, and together they walked towards Washington Square Park. In the park they found a bench close to the ark. Inej pulled up her legs, and looked sideways at her companion. Jesper was fidgeting, she had noticed he didn’t like sitting still.

‘Thank you’, she said simply. ‘Kaz is doing well. You kept him out of trouble. I owe you’.

Jesper gave her an incredulous stare and then she was doused with a flood of complaints. The law student seemed to have had a frustrating few weeks. Inej listed patiently. She was an excellent listener. Also, it was extremely amusing. Unfortunately, she was not quite as good at keeping the amusement off her face, since Jesper glared at her accusingly:

‘What’s so damn funny, Nej?’

Inej threw up her hands: ‘So what you’re telling me is that Kaz has been picking pockets and dealt a little every now and then, and that’s basically it?’

‘Don’t forget the stuff on campus’, Jesper threw in.

‘Yeah, about that. Did he steal any cameras by chance?’

Jesper gaped at her.

She shrugged: ‘What? The arts are chronically underfunded. Not everyone wants to be a lawyer’.‘Does he?’, Inej wondered, not for the first time.

Out loud she said: ’You are good for him’.

‘Well, he is not good for me’, Jesper huffed.

Inej shrugged: ’You might want to check your bank account’.

Jesper paled.

‘Not like you think’, Inej clarified. ‘More like a criminally inclined fairy godmother’.

Jesper put his head in his hands. ‘I am in law school. In law school’, he moaned.

Inej was getting impatient. ‘Look, they may not cover that in law school, but how can you expect someone like Kaz to go legit all at once? I think he’s trying’.

Jesper started on one of his lengthy legal talks. Something about three strikes and lifetimes spent in prison. Inej only half-listened, it sounded ridiculously far-fetched to her. Jesper knew that he had lost his audience and shrugged: ‘Is there anything normal he likes to do?’

She cocked her head: ‘Kaz likes gambling. Do you play cards’?

‘I’ve never tried it’, Jesper answered, sounding curious.

~~~~~~

On her last day,she took Kaz’ to the Elk. The coffee shop had become one of her favorite hangouts for its green matcha latte. Just to annoy Kaz, she also ordered the ‘Brekky Veggie Bowl’. They settled down at a corner table. Kaz knew she was leaving in a couple of hours, and was probably thinking of schemes to make her stay. He always did, even though it hadn’t worked in a long time.

Inej sipped on her matcha: ’I want to start on my next project. It’s low-budget, a documentary. I am interviewing people who survived attacks or accidents with severe injuries, burn victims mostly’.

‘Sounds lovely. Let me know when it’s out, I’ll buy popcorn’ he replied drily.

She knew full well he wouldn’t watch the film, he never had before. ‘I want to talk to people who have their scars on the outside, because I am looking for a clue to understand you’ Inej thought. In one way or another, all of her film were about him, pieces of the past he let slip, short glimpses into how his mind worked. ‘I have the weirdest muse in the history of art-making’, Inej reflected. ‘And the idiot doesn’t even know it, because he can’t be bothered to watch any of my work’.

Inej realized that she had been quiet for too long. Kaz looked at her expectantly, and she decided she might as well make her move.

‘Since I know how much you like the aphorisms of my people’, she started.

Kaz interrupted: ‘Look, you already broke up with me. I don’t want to talk about the heart and the arrow thing again’.

‘This is different. Just listen, it goes like this: We greet the unexpected visitor.’

‘I do not want to talk about your period again either’, Kaz shouted, which got the people a few tables over to stare at them.

‘Also, just because I didn’t get excited about your new menstrual cup, doesn’t make me a chauvinist prick’, he continued.

Inej grinned. That had been one of their better fights. ‘You know Kaz, it certainly wouldn’t hurt if you reflected about your white male privilege a little more deeply once in a while’.

Kaz rolled his eyes. ‘You know I didn’t go to college, so don’t use so many big words’.

Inej glared at him: ‘It’s not big words, it’s a big idea’.

Kaz was quiet for a beat, then grinned: ‘Oh you mean like I am a really good thief and can swindle people out of their fortune?’

Inej considered this. ‘Looks like you do get it’.

She checked her phone. If she wanted to make her train, she had to cut to the chase.

‘Jesper texted me after you robbed him at the Kraai.’

Kaz sighed: ‘So you want to yell at me some more for that?’

Inej held his gaze: ’You never get caught. And yet, he noticed. And you gave him back his chain. Why do you think that is?’

He shrugged: ’Jesper is a pretty good fighter. For a grad student. He had me down’.

She laughed and shook her head: ‘And you’re telling me you didn’t have a knife up your sleeve? You forget that I know you, Kaz.’

Inej stood up to leave.

‘You are scared. So think about this one: We meet fear. We greet the unexpected visitor and listen to what she has to tell us. When fear arrives, something is about to happen’.


	4. Something is about to happen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ’Sorry kameraadje. If you want to get drunk to commiserate your ex leaving you again you’ll have to do it alone or wait about an hour. I have to finish this’.
> 
> Inej is gone, Kaz makes plans.

After leaving that overly pretentious cafe, Kaz had a busy afternoon. He bought new clothes, got a haircut, and then turned his attention to other essentials. Specifically, he needed to restock his favorite prescription medication, which he found a little more difficult and a lot more expensive to come by than back home. He wondered briefly if this was a sign that he should reconsider his plan. Then again, he had never been superstitious or known for backing off. On a whim, he also purchased a bottle of Tullamore Dew. ‘If you had the luck of the Irish, you'd be sorry and wish you were dead’. Kaz had always liked the song.

Back in the apartment he put the bottle on the couch table. Jesper was at his desk bent over his laptop working on some classwork that could certainly wait. Kaz looked at the tall lanky frame and pondered his choices. He discretely took another Xanax, and poured two glasses of whiskey.

‘Hey’, he said, ‘I got you a present. You are half-Irish aren’t you?’.

Jesper turned around briefly and smiled distractedly. ’Sorry kameraadje. If you want to get drunk to commiserate your ex leaving you again you’ll have to do it alone or wait about an hour. I have to finish this’.

‘How about I do both?, Kaz asked. One hour. That worked. He focused on drinking slowly, savoring the taste. He listened to the sound of Jesper typing, and tried to relax. It didn’t work. The sentence kept ricocheting around in his mind. When fear arrives.

The trick was to get the dosage right. Inej would never know, but he didn’t have a single memory of their first night. Since then, he had gotten better at chemically leveling his anxiety. Or perhaps not. He definitely did not feel levelheaded. ’I am taking a shower’, he announced.

As he dried off, Kaz considered what to wear. Black pants, definitely. White button-down shirt, maybe. Shirt open? No shirt?

‘Done’, Jesper called from the other room.

Kaz leaned against the door. Fear. About to Happen. ‘Shit, Inej’, Kaz cursed under his breath. No shirt then. He walked out of the bathroom, trying very hard not to limp, and nonchalantly flopped down on the sofa. Close enough to Jesper to reach out, but not so close it was a suggestion. Or an invite. ‘Cheers’, he said and threw back his drink.

Jesper looked nonplussed. His host had never seen him other than fully clothed during his stay at the apartment, and most days Kaz wore his gloves even inside. So it was no wonder that Jesper reacted surprised. What annoyed Kay to no end was that he also looked amused.

‘I like the haircut’, he smiled. His voice was warm. His eyes were grey like the Amsterdam sky on a rainy afternoon, and Kaz’ inner voice had just turned into a soppy buffoon. Kaz cringed inwardly, took a deep breath, realized he was staring and didn’t quite know what to do about it. ‘Something is about to happen’, he repeated to himself. He swallowed. Poured another drink, and downed it. When he faced Jesper, his gaze was a challenge:‘I am tired of the couch. Can I see the bed?’ He got up and walked towards the other room, not caring about the limp anymore.

Jesper shook his head. ‘This is such a bad idea’. Nonetheless, he followed.

The best approach when you don’t know what you are doing is to speed things up, see what happens, and find your angle. It was one of the rules Kaz lived by. With a mixture of haste, misplaced enthusiasm and lack of balance he pushed Jesper against the wall. It was the end of Jesper’s bedroom lamp. The stupid apartment was way too cluttered. ‘I’ll buy you a new one’, Kaz mumbled.

‘Are you okay? You don’t act like yourself’, Jesper sounded concerned. ‘Look, this is a bad call. I am not going to sleep with you when you’re drunk’.

‘Too bad’ Kaz thought. ‘I am certainly not going to sleep with you sober’. He almost said it out loud, but caught himself. He had a sense that Jesper wouldn’t find it funny. Inej had always hated comments like that.

Instead he tried a smile. ’I have excellent judgement. Stop talking so damn much’.

Jesper wouldn’t though. He talked. Is this okay? Does this feel good? Do you want this? Do you want me?

‘Yes’. Kaz managed the monosyllaby reply with effort. It wasn’t untrue, it was just that the answer was a lot more complicated. If touch came as easily to him as it did to other people, he’d have sex all the time. It didn’t help that each question shouted at Kaz how much his inexperience was obvious to Jesper.

Once, on a dare, Inej hand taken him skydiving. Kaz, who had never even liked flying, was in equal measures terrified of falling and exhilarated by the thrill. This is what he felt like. He decided to make an effort. Two syllables.

‘Fuck me’.


	5. What just happened?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesper swears in dutch.  
> Kaz shares something about his past.

Jesper woke up the next morning to the smell of coffee. He got up with a smile, and carefully made his way past the broken lamp towards the kitchenette.

Kaz was shirtless, definitely a good look on him. He had his back to Jesper, pouring a cup of coffee. Jesper crossed the room intwo long strides, slung his arms around Kaz’ waste and planted a kiss on his neck.

The cheap coffee maker broke into large chards and released the hot liquid as Jesper was trying to process what the hell just happened.

’I’ll buy you a new one’, Kaz mumbled mechanically. ‘I’ll clean this up, just give me a sec’. With that he disappeared into the bathroom, blood dripping from a cut in his hand. The door closed in Jesper’s face.

Jesper’s head was a jumble of conflicting thoughts. Rejection. Guilt. Shock. There was no way to dispute the look of panic on Kaz’ face. He had been scared. Of him. Jesper felt like throwing up. Which brought his mind back to the bathroom being occupied. Should he leave? Surely not. Maybe? Shit.

‘Are you okay?’ Stupid question. Clearly, Kaz wasn’t okay. It was just as well he didn’t answer. Jesper didn’t know what to do, so he started cleaning up. It felt good to take care of a mess that was fixable.

When Kaz emerged from the bathroom half an hour later, he merely looked annoyed. ‘I said I would clean up, you shouldn’t have done this’.

‘I shouldn’t have done a lot of things’, Jesper thought and asked, very carefully: ‘Can we talk?’.

Kaz grinned wickedly: ’I hate talking. Let’s go back to bed’. ‘Since there’s no coffee’, he added, sounding regretful.

Jesper inhaled sharply. This was not the kind of thing you just ignored. He tried to introduce some measure of reason to the conversation. ’You don’t have to pretend to be okay if you are not’.

Kaz didn’t miss a beat. ‘Oh, I am super okay’.

‘You weren’t earlier’, Jesper insisted. He tried to catch Kaz’ gaze, but his, well, whatever he was, didn’t look at him. Apparently, there was something interesting on the carpet to focus on instead. Kaz sounded both irritated and defensive. ‘I was startled. I promise I won’t break anything else’.

Did he think they were arguing about the coffee pot? Jesper was getting exasperated, and let it show in his tone: ‘That’s not exactly what I am worried about. There seems to be some stuff I don’t understand’.

Kaz held up a hand to interrupt. ’I like coffee, sex, whiskey and crime. I am really not that complicated’.

Jesper grinned despite himself. ’Yeah. You’re basically an open book’.

‘Do you like to read?’ Kaz smiled, and stepped in close.

Jesper wasn’t a pushover. He had principles, he went to law school, he was smart, he knew when when he was being played. They didn’t go back to bed. They made out on the couch instead. That is, until he needed to pee. Which is when he found the pill bottle in the bathroom. He studied the label and cursed. For good measure and for the benefit of the incurably criminal boy he added some Dutch: _Godverdomme. Pannenkoek._

Kaz was sitting on the couch, and his stupid face made a very satisfying target. ‘Perfect aim’, Jesper observed contentedly, as his ammunition hit Kaz’ temple and the pills spilled on the floor.

‘Hey, those were expensive’, Kaz scrambled to pick up the scattered tablets. Jesper considered kicking him.

‘You are taking benzos before making out?’

‘Medicinal’, Kaz muttered.

‘Medicinal use implies a prescription by a medical professional’. Jesper crossed his arms.

‘Ah. I am more a Do-It-Yourself person. It’s a movement. Makerspaces and such. It’s big in Amsterdam.’

‘Okay, _lievje._ Will you tell me what this is about?’

Kaz, who had retrieved the tablets off the floor, got up and put the drugs in his pants pocket. He gave Jesper a long look. A fighter, weighing his options, Jesper realized.

’No. That’s not a topic I discuss’. Kaz’ tone was final. ‘You can ask me something else though. Anything really. I’ll answer.’

On an impulse, Jesper asked the first thing that came to his mind: ‘Why live like this? You could be in university, you’re clearly smart. It isn’t even expensive in the Netherlands, is it?’

Kaz seemed pleased with the question. Safe territory. ’You know how some people don’t finish high school?’

‘Well, that’s fixable’, Jesper was getting excited, only to be immediately shut down.

‘Well, I never started it’.

‘Oh’.

‘I had an unconventional upbringing’, Kaz smiled serenely.

They went out for coffee.


	6. Unexpected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More Dutch swearing on Jesper’s part. Parents are tricky, stealing is not.

Jesper had never met anyone like Kaz. He forced others to constantly second guess their opinions of him. The ground was shifting with deception, omission and the occasional casual betrayal. It was infuriating - and addictive. 

After class one morning Jesper hung out with his friend Michelle and watched her fret over a rubik cube, realizing that’s how he felt. On some level he suspected that Inej had wanted to share her personal obsession with him for the purpose of having someone else understand what it was to care about Kaz Brekker. Which was not exactly nice or fair, but Jesper could not bring himself to be angry or even regretful.

Eventually, with more patience than Jesper could ever muster for anything this pointless, Michelle figured out how to twist and turn until all sides of the cube were in one color only.

‘Oh, it’s a segregationist toy’, Jesper commented. He was possibly annoyed simply because he knew his Dutch version would never resolve into anything so neatly sorted.

Overall, things got easier, as Jesper figured out when to give Kaz space, when to look the other way and when to intervene decisively. 

He started to introduce Kaz to his friends. Kaz did not necessarily like parties or people for that matter, but if he bothered to make an effort he was actually charming. Sometimes this was genuine, sometimes it was drug or alcohol induced and other times it meant there was information to be gained that would translate into leverage or money. 

‘I am very good at lying, and equally good at telling the truth, and excellent at knowing when to choose what’, Kaz had explained the tricks of his trade one night as they walked home from the subway. 

It was all peachy, until the night of the painting. It begun harmless enough. They went out for drinks, Kaz was chatting with some people at the bar, and next thing Jesper knew, they were in a cab headed to Brooklyn. They spent the evening at a fancy apartment. The scene was a little too ritzy for Jesper’s taste, but the booze was good, and Kaz was gregarious. Still, Jesper was surprised to learn that Kaz was into art. He pointed to an abstract painting, his gaze appraising: ‘Is this by Yayoi Kusama?’, he asked Jesper, who had absolutely no clue. Their host was delighted to overhear the question. ‘Yes, it’s called  Stars . Beautiful isn’t it? We have another one upstairs. Do you want to see?’. Kaz nudged Jesper, who hurried to politely pretend enthusiasm. They stayed for another hour, moving from room to room, and, for the first time ever, Kaz was openly flirting with Jesper. It turned out that what Jesper had interpreted as an attempt at finding a semi-private corner for making out was in fact the deliberate scouting of the place. That much was obvious when he discovered the painting under the couch a week later.

‘I’ll fence it tonight. Don’t worry about it. In fact, forget that you saw it’, was Kaz’ only comment.

Jesper was furious. In his anger, he made the ill-tempered decision to run a con of his own, a simple scheme, and decidedly more harmless. It was a lazy Saturday morning, unusually warm for early November.They had slept late, and they were both hungry. ‘Let me show you a new place‘, Jesper suggested.

They spent a little over half an hour on the subway, and were both in dire need of food and caffeine when they entered ‘Home Sweet Harlem’. ‘Reservation for Fahey’, Jesper said brightly, and the beautiful waitress gave him a dazzling smile. ‘Follow me’. She led them to a table for four, which was already occupied with Colm and Aditi. At the sight of the Faheys, Kaz made a beeline for the bar. Jesper mumbled an apology to the waitress and dragged Kaz back to their table. Unfortunately not without a tumbler of whiskey in hand.

Jesper’s mum raised an eyebrow, but his dad stretched out his hand. 

For a moment it looked like Kaz wasn’t going to take it, but at last he surrendered his gloved fingers to a brief handshake. 

Jesper grinned. Everyone loved his parents. They were smart, funny and warm. It would not be long before Kaz’ tight smile made way for the real thing. Jesper and his parents hugged, laughed traded stories as they all studied their menus. 

‘What are you having?’, Aditi asked.

‘Irish coffee‘, Kaz announced.

His mum didn’t miss a beat: ‚Wow. Most people are not both drunk and racist when they meet their boyfriend’s parents‘.

‘Ahh. I did not realize that I was’, Kaz replied, with a sideways glare at Jesper. 

It dawned on Jesper then that this may have been an abysmal idea. 

His dad tried: ‚You manage a club?‘

‘I own a club’, Kaz corrected, ‘It’s currently a pile of ashes, but still’. He went on to describe what had happened, and alluded enough that it was obvious even to Jesper’s parents that he made his living on the wrong side of the law. 

‘You know what, I think Kaz has to be somewhere’, Jesper tried for damage control. 

‘Court Appointment?’, his mom guessed.

‘I don’t do parents’, Kaz bent close to his ear, and spoke quietly, so only Jesper could hear. Without another look at the Fahey family, he stood up from the table and walked away, his limp pronounced. It took Jesper a little while to realize that he had left the restaurant alone. Accompanied by an assortment of wallets and valuables judging by the commotion that followed shortly thereafter. His parents were not thrilled, even though his explanation about plausible deniability had been textbook perfect.

Jesper expected to find Kaz at the apartment and braced for the inevitable argument, which he very much intended to win. That  Kloothommel  had been rude to his parents, for no good reason other than that he didn’t like manipulations he didn’t engineer himself. 

However, when he returned a couple of hours later he found the place empty. After a few unanswered texts Jesper felt markedly less sure about his position. Kaz did not come back that night, nor the next day, nor the next night. When he called Inej, she was not the slightest bit surprised.

‘Kaz’ father died when he was nine, that is the only thing I ever learned about his family.’

‘Do you think he’s okay?’

‘Anybody’s guess. It’s safe to assume there’s nothing he would not do if he can come up with a reason’. She sounded uncharacteristically bitter. 

On day three Jesper decided to do something normal and go to class. He wasn’t paying too much attention to the criminal law lecture, but it was better than sitting at home or walking aimlessly around the neighborhood, looking for a familiar gate among a million people. 

When he got home, he felt tired and drained from the effort of making conversation with classmates and teachers. He called in sick, again, for his shift at the coffee shop and laid down on the couch. He hadn’t planned on shutting his eyes, but it felt good. Jesper wasn’t one for naps, as a general rule. He had too much energy. However, he hadn’t really slept for the past couple of nights, so he was out cold within a few minutes. He didn’t know how much time had passed when the click of the door lock woke him with a start. He must have been fast asleep, not just dosing, because it did take him a moment to process what he was seeing. 

Kaz looked like hell. He had been in a fight from the bruise on his cheek and the cut above his eye, and he was coming down from something. 

For Jesper, the past days had been an unpleasant mix of anger, worry and guilt, so despite an undeniably large measure of relief, his tone was more than a little hostile:

‘Oh, look what the cat dragged in’. Kaz sounded confused: ‘You replaced me with a cat?’

‘It’s a proverb’, Jesper clarified.

‘I fucking hate proverbs’, Kaz exclaimed.

‘And parents’, Jesper replied drily. 

Kaz shrugged: ‘Well, yeah. I came to get my stuff’.

Jesper nodded and with considerable effort kept his response polite. ‘Why don’t you take a shower, you look like you could use one. I’ll make some coffee, want any?’

Kaz shook his head, but did limp for the bathroom, probably for the sole purpose of closing a door between them.

Jesper stood waiting and listening until he heard water running. Kaz was more street smart than he’d ever be and his self-control worked like a steel trap at shutting out emotions. Right now though, he wasn’t on top of his game, and Jesper had a few tricks up his sleeve that put him at an advantage. 

Most of these tricks worked decidedly better without clothes, which is why Jesper was naked when he stepped inside the small bathroom. With a smile that was sharp as a blade he moved the shower curtain and enjoyed the unguarded expression of surprise, caution and lust as he looked down in coffee colored eyes. He moved moist hair out of a pale face, tangling it in his hands. He kissed like a shark that had tasted blood in the water. In this game, Jesper had the advantage of instinct and experience. ‘You’re not going anywhere’, he laughed breathlessly against Kaz neck. If he had to wager a guess, after this shower his cute criminal was bound to stay. 


	7. Listen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaz is getting the hang of relationship talk and DTR.

‘Is there coffee then?’, Kaz asked, sounding hopeful, as he pulled out fresh clothes. He settled for dark jeans and a black long-sleeve shirt. It’s what he’d wear on a job, and it made him feel instantly better, prepared.

Jesper grinned: ‘I was busy in the shower, but I can make some now’. 

Once dressed, Kaz sat stiffly on the sofa. He was worried that the coffee would come at a price, and sure enough, Jesper handed him his cup with the words: ‘We should talk’.

‘I am not going to apologize’.

Kaz had learned about the problem with apologies from being with Inej. In the end it was simple: you admitted to wrongdoing once and you were more likely to be even more wrong the next time. It was the equivalent of pinning a ‘Kick Me’ sign on your own back.

That’s when Jesper surprised him, for the second time today. He was good with surprises.

‘No, I am sorry. I was upset about being used for a stakeout. I wanted to annoy you. I didn’t mean to hurt you’. Jesper took a deep breath, clearly trying, and at least to some extent, failing, to reign in his temper.

‘That said, I didn’t think you were the type for passive-aggressive melodrama. As in, running off for three days’.

Kaz shrugged. ‘When I fight, I do it to win’.

Jesper made his college student lecture face: ‘That’s not how it works in a relationship. One person looses, everyone looses’.

‘Except for the one who wins. Because, you know, he won’.

 _I won._ And you know shit about fighting, Kaz thought.

‘And what exactly did you win?’

‘An amazing blow job in the shower and never having to meet your parents again’. It was a no-brainer, really. Also, he would get points for the compliment. Having the upper hand was effortless with Jesper. Nice people were too easy to manipulate.

Jesper grinned. ‘Ah, you’re wrong on the second part. My parents very much want to meet you again. Whenever you’re ready’.

Kaz was stunned. Too stunned to speak, in fact. The again, you can always lift one eyebrow.

Jesper’s smile was pure malice. ’I told them a really, really sad story about your extremely traumatic family history’.

Gaping was a little less dignified on the non-verbal communication front, but really.

‘You never tell me anything, so I made something up’.

‘You lied to your parents?’

‘About my incurably criminal boyfriend. I learned from the best’.

This was when Kaz realized two thing: Jesper was not exactly nice, and he might not have the upper hand after all. He wanted to slam a door. Bathroom was out, his skin was drying out from all the showering, leaving was apparently melodramatic, so the bedroom was the only other option. Predictably, Jesper followed.

Kaz hit back with the first thing that came to mind: ‘Oh, am I your boyfriend? If you wanted to be exclusive, maybe next time mention that before I go on a three-day bender’.

Jesper laughed and pushed him onto the bed. ‘There aren’t enough benzos around to turn you into a floozie. But sure, let’s DTR’.

Kaz was agreeing enthusiastically.

Jesper groaned: ’Kaz. It’s not a sex thing. It means….’

That was the problem with dating college students. Kaz didn’t like lectures. He thought of himself as the practical type.

’I don’t need to know what it means. Let’s just do it’.


End file.
